Poverty
May 20 2011, 12 PM
In most American shows they picture poor families having lots of kids. For the first time my father's image looks like that to me! He had his first child when he was 25, and by the time he was 30 he had scored 5 kids! Though he was far from being and alcoholic or drug addict, his life resembles lives of those american poor dads. Somehow he managed to make a living as a teacher and later started his own groceries store. But his hard time as a child and later as a father had left its mark on him forever. Anger and fear are the most obvious indexes in his personality. His view of the world is this fucked up situation in which you would be lucky to be able to feed some mouths. He sees every new relation as a threat rather than an opportunity. And among all the possible ways of living, he sees teaching as a university professor the most stable career for me, and maybe his other kids too!
I'm a very very independent person, my opinions and beliefs are not acquired from any other one bur myself, yet still there's one common belief among me and my ancestors: we all think that we know everything that we need to know ourselves! My grandfather is like that, my father is like that, and so am I. So there isn't that much to communicate among us, if someone thinks sth is bad and the other one doesn't, there's no way they can come to terms. So no problems can be solved! And as the times pass, the gap widens.
I'm going to upload this post unedited and unrevised, so if ever anyone reads this note (including future me), well then this is an example of my flux of writing!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Amen
Amen
May 14 2011, 1 AM
God felt lonely so he created a man
I felt lonely so I created a goddess :D
Things going really great between me and Ameneh. My first experience in a serious relationship has so far amazed me, I didn't think I could get this emotional. Yet so far it feels like a dream! Not that I don't think of her a lot, but sometimes I'm shocked and can't believe it's happening. But honestly I miss her, and I'm very happy texting to her and waiting for a reply. In these scenarios I've always considered myself an outsider, not the one who can't see inside, but rather someone who sees from above. But I don't feel bad playing this silly role. For now I'm really happy.
At the age 23 I want to start playing bass! I don't know if I can, but kinda I feel a desire to play an instrument.
I'm going to keep this one short, so I'll end it now.
May 14 2011, 1 AM
God felt lonely so he created a man
I felt lonely so I created a goddess :D
Things going really great between me and Ameneh. My first experience in a serious relationship has so far amazed me, I didn't think I could get this emotional. Yet so far it feels like a dream! Not that I don't think of her a lot, but sometimes I'm shocked and can't believe it's happening. But honestly I miss her, and I'm very happy texting to her and waiting for a reply. In these scenarios I've always considered myself an outsider, not the one who can't see inside, but rather someone who sees from above. But I don't feel bad playing this silly role. For now I'm really happy.
At the age 23 I want to start playing bass! I don't know if I can, but kinda I feel a desire to play an instrument.
I'm going to keep this one short, so I'll end it now.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Dilemma
Dilemma
May 9 2011 1 AM
I'm in a bad bad bad dilemma. Robot me has one weak point, actually it's my Achilles hook! And it's one emotional problem with a certain person. There have been only one important girl in my life and stupid as it may seem it's kinda my only love. I met her when I was a kid and since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. These feeling had a peak point when I was like 16 or 17, but as the years passed by they became weaker and weaker, yet still they were there all the time. And now, at the age of 23 that girl has come back, not her memories, but her actual self. And here is the dilemma. I feel like I'm not ready to settle down for this. Probably such a haughty wouldn't even look at me, but now she is the reacher! She started all this, it started when she sent me a friendship request on Facebook, and after that fb messaging started. At first it was all casual, but as the number and frequency of messages grew up, she approached with some emotional comments, and now she openly uses "I love you" and all. She then started SMSing me on my cell. Well, at least she hasn't started making phone calls! I hope she doesn't!
And all I can do is to walk
And kick empty pepsi cans
While dancing stupidly to Fever Ray
And smoking my stupid Camels
Monday, May 2, 2011
Who says the world has changed?
Who says the world has changed?
May 02 2011, 1AM
So, it's been a while. I missed these notes, but I could get by without them!
I play squash now, last two weekends I've gone climbing and mostly bouldering (I'm so weaker though), I talked to Barzin about buying a bass guitar, though it's pretty lame for a 23 years old to start playing an instrument :D (don't mind using emoticons, I'm getting used to them thanks to Facebook). And sure Facebook is taking over suburbs!!! Last month two of my female cousins found me on fb and sent friendship requests! Before that some guy I new from school had done that.
About calling my hometown a suburb:
Tehran, this 12M mess has dominated itself so much as a capital city that every other town and city in Iran is considered a suburb compared to it, so when I say Facebook is taking over suburbs I don't mean exactly American type of suburbs. American suburbs are about family life and houses and desperate kids dreaming of big cities, while in Iran life in small towns doesn't differ that much in those respects from Tehran. Sure there is less apartments in small towns and more independent bachelors in Tehran, but save for better weather (and even that only in parts) town life has no advantage, it's screwed in every aspect.
In fact Tehran isn't that much of a big city as New York is. For one all parts of Tehran isn't expensive, so making it possible to working class mass to live there. The same goes for economical activities: only some parts of Tehran is economically productive, well there is some action going on in those godforsaken districts, but only enough to supply their own consumption and maybe only a little bit more to make climbing up the social ladder possible for the deserving ones. They tell it's a 12M city, but you can cut down the living population to 3M.
Valiasr is the biggest street in the city, connecting railway station to Tajrish square, a total of 17km long, well that might be true, but this line connecting Azadi squre to Tehranpars, stupidly divided to three separate streets called Azadi, Enghelab and Damavand, chops the city into two! North city and South city.
Gotta sleep, maybe to be continued
May 02 2011, 1AM
So, it's been a while. I missed these notes, but I could get by without them!
I play squash now, last two weekends I've gone climbing and mostly bouldering (I'm so weaker though), I talked to Barzin about buying a bass guitar, though it's pretty lame for a 23 years old to start playing an instrument :D (don't mind using emoticons, I'm getting used to them thanks to Facebook). And sure Facebook is taking over suburbs!!! Last month two of my female cousins found me on fb and sent friendship requests! Before that some guy I new from school had done that.
About calling my hometown a suburb:
Tehran, this 12M mess has dominated itself so much as a capital city that every other town and city in Iran is considered a suburb compared to it, so when I say Facebook is taking over suburbs I don't mean exactly American type of suburbs. American suburbs are about family life and houses and desperate kids dreaming of big cities, while in Iran life in small towns doesn't differ that much in those respects from Tehran. Sure there is less apartments in small towns and more independent bachelors in Tehran, but save for better weather (and even that only in parts) town life has no advantage, it's screwed in every aspect.
In fact Tehran isn't that much of a big city as New York is. For one all parts of Tehran isn't expensive, so making it possible to working class mass to live there. The same goes for economical activities: only some parts of Tehran is economically productive, well there is some action going on in those godforsaken districts, but only enough to supply their own consumption and maybe only a little bit more to make climbing up the social ladder possible for the deserving ones. They tell it's a 12M city, but you can cut down the living population to 3M.
Valiasr is the biggest street in the city, connecting railway station to Tajrish square, a total of 17km long, well that might be true, but this line connecting Azadi squre to Tehranpars, stupidly divided to three separate streets called Azadi, Enghelab and Damavand, chops the city into two! North city and South city.
Gotta sleep, maybe to be continued
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Coming Back
Coming Back
Feb 13 11:30
For nearly a month my nightly writing sessions had come to a halt, though since it's noon, this note doesn't make it running. It has been a tough month for me. I had my finals, had a trip back home, and not to forget my days at work.
Right now I've no idea for writing, maybe writing about The Simpsons wouldn't be far from relevant (I had like one full season yesterday), but I rather save it for later, maybe for one night session.
Feb 13 11:30
For nearly a month my nightly writing sessions had come to a halt, though since it's noon, this note doesn't make it running. It has been a tough month for me. I had my finals, had a trip back home, and not to forget my days at work.
Right now I've no idea for writing, maybe writing about The Simpsons wouldn't be far from relevant (I had like one full season yesterday), but I rather save it for later, maybe for one night session.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Prevarication, what a beautiful word!
Prevarication, what a beautiful word!
5 Jan 2011, 2 PM
This is the first time I'm writing a note while I'm at work. I work in an engineering office which operates building automation projects. I kinda like my job, though the payments are rather low.
Last nite I undertook the job of correcting my phone contacts information. It took more than 4 hours and it's not done yet, actually the main task is complete, but I like to add a contact icon for each person, and preferably his/her Facebook profile photo.
HTC Smart doesn't support Farsi fonts, so my sister rejects it and I take it! I don't know which one of us will pay for it, but I've decided to pay for it myself. It's not that bad, but it's not vert good either. The touch isn't sensitive enough, actually I tap on it using my fingernails, while I type this note using fingers themselves.
For last few notes I surfed the net trying to know my iPod Touch better. I had jailbreaked it the first nite, but it took some nites for Ceydia to download its packages.
I hate bunch everything! Not that I don't like to apply a routine to a frequent procedure (like finding lyrics for my music collection), but bunch collections of everything sucks. If you unload your friends' movie collection from his/her hard drive to yours, you've made a mistake. I can argue in support of my theory, but there is no room for that in this note. The same applies to music collections and software collections.
So, instead of downloading a .ipa file collection, I searched for the best apps and games for iPhone, and so far, my favorite app and games are these:
Dictionary.com: useful, user friendly, offline and comprehensive. The title word, prevarication, is its today's "word of the day". I've installed another dictionary too, it's called wordbook, but the former is better.
Angry Birds: I don't wanna brag about its addictiveness, and I don't think I'm addicted to it, but it's very cool and interesting.
Fieldrunners: Interesting point about this game and angry birds is that I've seen my frowned playing them on their iPod touch or iPhones. The disappointing thing about all these games is that they're in the same level which some years ago flash games were. I mean they don't use multitouch function properly. Maybe there are good multitouch games, but I haven't played any.
Wurdle: It was so absurd that I changed its settings so that three letter words wouldn't count. It's better now, but sometimes I make a word that I don't know the meaning of it.
5 Jan 2011, 2 PM
This is the first time I'm writing a note while I'm at work. I work in an engineering office which operates building automation projects. I kinda like my job, though the payments are rather low.
Last nite I undertook the job of correcting my phone contacts information. It took more than 4 hours and it's not done yet, actually the main task is complete, but I like to add a contact icon for each person, and preferably his/her Facebook profile photo.
HTC Smart doesn't support Farsi fonts, so my sister rejects it and I take it! I don't know which one of us will pay for it, but I've decided to pay for it myself. It's not that bad, but it's not vert good either. The touch isn't sensitive enough, actually I tap on it using my fingernails, while I type this note using fingers themselves.
For last few notes I surfed the net trying to know my iPod Touch better. I had jailbreaked it the first nite, but it took some nites for Ceydia to download its packages.
I hate bunch everything! Not that I don't like to apply a routine to a frequent procedure (like finding lyrics for my music collection), but bunch collections of everything sucks. If you unload your friends' movie collection from his/her hard drive to yours, you've made a mistake. I can argue in support of my theory, but there is no room for that in this note. The same applies to music collections and software collections.
So, instead of downloading a .ipa file collection, I searched for the best apps and games for iPhone, and so far, my favorite app and games are these:
Dictionary.com: useful, user friendly, offline and comprehensive. The title word, prevarication, is its today's "word of the day". I've installed another dictionary too, it's called wordbook, but the former is better.
Angry Birds: I don't wanna brag about its addictiveness, and I don't think I'm addicted to it, but it's very cool and interesting.
Fieldrunners: Interesting point about this game and angry birds is that I've seen my frowned playing them on their iPod touch or iPhones. The disappointing thing about all these games is that they're in the same level which some years ago flash games were. I mean they don't use multitouch function properly. Maybe there are good multitouch games, but I haven't played any.
Wurdle: It was so absurd that I changed its settings so that three letter words wouldn't count. It's better now, but sometimes I make a word that I don't know the meaning of it.
Monday, January 3, 2011
4. Politics
4. Politics
3 Jan 2011, 1 AM
Adding a new item to list of mass opiates, here comes politics.
The point is that democracy does not work. I don't mean that there should be dictatorship, but direct voting system doesn't lead to an effective election. Majority of human beings are dumb-asses who will get exited over every promise and are very easy to fool and handle. They believe, they trust and they colonize. In fact they are miserable creatures who can't take any jeopardy. They are overconcerned and overworried.
And in which way it can count as an opiate? Well, what's the most obvious common point among other items? they all. Try to colonize! The point is to produce a uniform population, and politics tries in the same way, by trying to unite masses. And since every population can only get summarize by it's mean value, so this union point should be somewhere around this mean value, which I'm afraid is too low to be interesting!
Every goddamn Iranian talks about politics, every goddamn one of them, that's one of the reasons why I hate them. Those in favor of regime are idiots and it's quite typical of them to try to show some politic intelligence [which in their case means repeating state tv news headlines] in order to avoid being considered ignorant. Anyway I'm not interested in their behavior, and I dare say it would be waste of my time trying to say something that everybody knows. What I'm interested in is the behavior of the opposition. This micro-intellect sub-culture is very important for me. First of all, every last one of my friends belongs to this sub-culture, and even more important is the fact that nobody criticizes this sub-culture.
[I think I'll write a full essay criticizing them, so enough for now]
3 Jan 2011, 1 AM
Adding a new item to list of mass opiates, here comes politics.
The point is that democracy does not work. I don't mean that there should be dictatorship, but direct voting system doesn't lead to an effective election. Majority of human beings are dumb-asses who will get exited over every promise and are very easy to fool and handle. They believe, they trust and they colonize. In fact they are miserable creatures who can't take any jeopardy. They are overconcerned and overworried.
And in which way it can count as an opiate? Well, what's the most obvious common point among other items? they all. Try to colonize! The point is to produce a uniform population, and politics tries in the same way, by trying to unite masses. And since every population can only get summarize by it's mean value, so this union point should be somewhere around this mean value, which I'm afraid is too low to be interesting!
Every goddamn Iranian talks about politics, every goddamn one of them, that's one of the reasons why I hate them. Those in favor of regime are idiots and it's quite typical of them to try to show some politic intelligence [which in their case means repeating state tv news headlines] in order to avoid being considered ignorant. Anyway I'm not interested in their behavior, and I dare say it would be waste of my time trying to say something that everybody knows. What I'm interested in is the behavior of the opposition. This micro-intellect sub-culture is very important for me. First of all, every last one of my friends belongs to this sub-culture, and even more important is the fact that nobody criticizes this sub-culture.
[I think I'll write a full essay criticizing them, so enough for now]
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